As videos of emotional college acceptances and elaborate school-themed bed parties fill high schoolers’ social media feeds, some seniors are putting a humorous spin on the emotional let down of getting denied from colleges with rejection cakes.
In one TikTok with more than 5 million views, Needham, Massachusetts high school senior Ceci Skala and her friends cheer “This is our rejection cake!” as they present a cake decorated with miniature flags from top schools that rejected them.
Skala, who applied to 12 colleges and was waitlisted from her top choice, says the trend is a way to make fun of the daunting, stressful college admissions process.
In the video, her friends placed rejection pins from schools like Yale University, University of Southern California, Harvard University, University of Virginia, Dartmouth College, the University of Pennsylvania, Georgetown University and Boston College.
“If you’re applying to a hard college and you’re seeing all these acceptance videos, it’s going hurt, because it’s like, ‘Am I the only one rejected? Am I not good enough?’ ” Skala says. “You don’t see all the videos of everybody else getting rejected.”
College acceptance videos have heightened the stakes
College consultant Brooke Hanson, who is the CEO and founder of SupertutorTV, says social media has made the college admissions process more stressful.
Twenty years ago, students showed their excitement for college with a sweatshirt or yard sign. Now, Hanson and Norman say, that display has moved onto social media, where teens’ For You Pages are flooded with acceptance videos featuring screams of joy and tears.
“That can contribute to the stress or feeling that you’re not good enough,” Hanson says. “They’re feeling like everybody’s getting into all these great schools.”
The opposite is true — when it comes to elite colleges that operate with acceptance rates of 10% or lower, 90% of applicants face rejection.
“College admissions feels like, ‘Oh my goodness. This is rejection. This is so terrible. But in life as adults, you’re going to fail, you’re going to get rejected,” Hanson says.
When Co-Founder of Counseling at Expert Admissions Bari Norman saw the rejection cake videos, she thought, “finally, some reality.” She says students should remember that the videos of students celebrating might not tell the full story – for every video posted, there are more that were deleted.
“Plenty of people will tell me, ‘Oh, we videoed it, and she was in hysterics. We deleted it right away,’ ” Norman says. In the elaborate decorated bed party celebration videos, the school being celebrated may have been someone’s third or fourth choice.
Skala says social media distorts students’ perception of the admissions process. On days when school decisions come out, news about acceptances spreads like wildfire.
“News spread very, very quickly on everyone’s decisions in my school, even people I’m not friends with. I heard what colleges they got into and didn’t get into,” Skala says.
Gen Z uses humor to cope
Platforms like YouTube and TikTok have changed the way teens talk about their mental health. And whereas the cultural norm on Instagram is a more polished aesthetic, TikTok’s trend-driven community feels more informal and prioritizes user engagement, creating a fertile environment for personal moments to go viral.
When the comment sections on users’ rejection videos are filled with support, it builds a sense of solidarity and peer connection.
Humor is an extremely useful and common coping strategy that can help some process heavy events, according to Marni Amsellem, a licensed psychologist. For others, it can lighten the emotional severity of a situation as well.
Plus, Gen Z is more pessimistic than millennials, which might explain their inclination toward dark humor, explains Jean Twenge, author of “iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy − and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood.”
How the trend is helping students with redirection
Hanson says it’s healthy for teens to acknowledge the hardships of college rejections and to find community in commiserating over the experience together. But ultimately, they should remind themselves that college is what they make of it.
“The point is not necessarily just to get a brand name stamped on your sweatshirt,” Hanson says.
“It’s to have an experience, and above all, learn how to gain skills that are going to benefit you.”
Norman says thinking of college as an end point is a miscalculation, and that rejection can be redirection. What students do once they get to college is what matters.
“You’re about to just get started in your life and your career. This is not the end point, you’ve just reached the starting line,” Norman says.
Skala and her friends, at least, were determined to put a positive spin on their application process. In an April 14 video, the girls posted a commitment cake, with each student showing the school they’ll be attending in the fall.
Skala, who is attending the University of Wisconsin-Madison and plans to study kinesiology, says things worked out in the end.
“Sometimes admission processes are just a gamble, and your self worth shouldn’t be defined by a school or a decision,” Skala says. “Having other people relate to it makes it easier.”
Read the original story on USA Today.
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